To Love and To Be Loved
by Rina De Wolffe
Summary: Spashley. My first fanfic ever in English, please write some reviews! A story based on the original story, trying to get Ashley's point of view. Please, enjoy! ***DISCLAIMER: I do not own South of Nowhere nor Spashley. Just trying to unleash my imagination!
1. The start of something new

Ashley wakes up in a pretty bad mood. It's a school day again she really hates, and she has to wake up because her mother is arguing with her boyfriend again so early in the morning. She sighs and turns on her back, staring at the ceiling.

'Good morning Ashley, rise and shine' she whispers to herself and sits up.

She sighs again. She doesn't really feel like going to school, but whatever, she has to. It's only 7 a.m., so she decides to have a shower.

The warm water wakes her up completely, and, as she has plenty of times, she washes her hair. Then, she only stands and let the water pour all over her. She feels sick again. Sick of what happened to her. She finishes washing her hair, so she lets this feeling go away by making herself busy. She takes her bathrobe on, and starts drying her hair, when her mother walks into the room.

'Isn't it time to go to school?'

'I'll go by car'

'Oh, will, you?'

'Yes' she rolls her eyes 'I'll be there before the bell rings' she forces a smile.

'Fine then.' That's all what her mother says and walks out.

As soon as the brunette finishing the preparations, she grabs her bag, her notes, and the key of her car, and hastily, she goes to school. On her way, she buys a coffee. She's running late, but whatever. She doesn't really care. She parks the car. Damn, she really is in a bad mood today. She feels so tired she could fall asleep immediately.

She locks the car, and makes her steps fast. Taking a corner, someone bumps into her and her notes and coffee lands on the floor. It's not her day. She's really upset right now.

'Oh, what, can't you be careful?' she shouts.

'I'm so sorry, let me…' and the blonde girl tries to help, but she fails.

'Don't help me! Do you always make disasters with every step you take?' she asks angrily, and continue her way. She regrets it and she wants to apologize, but she rather goes to her Literature lesson. She has to calm down, and maybe later, she would apologize.

Throughout the day, she can't forget the girl. Her long, blonde her, her sparkling blue eyes and her juicy lips. Damn, she really was unfair to her. Ashley realized that she was a newbie, as she never saw her before. Making a very bad first impression, in the end she decides to find the new girl after school.

She finds her nowhere, so she's heading to the gym.

"_BINGO!"_ she thinks to herself when she realizes the girl there.

Ashley sits next to her. She really is a newbie; she's doing her homework already.

'So, looking for boys while pretending that you're studying?' she smiles.

'No' the blonde looks into her eyes 'Brother' she points at a guy playing basketball.

Yeah right, she completely forgot that it's time for recruit some new members for the sport teams.

'No good. There can only be one star, and that's him' she points at Aiden. She feels sick again. 'By the way, do you often watch matches when you don't bump into strangers?' she grins.

'Some days. It's good to know that you have a version which doesn't wanna kill me'

'Ashley Davies'

'Spencer Carlin'

They shake hands, and Ashley feels something she hasn't felt for a long time.

'New in L.A.?'

'Yeah, we've just moved here from Ohio.'

'Well then, what about going on a sightseeing tour?' she smiles.

'I'd love to, but I don't have a car, and I have to go with my brother.'

'Chill! Hey!' she waves at the blonde guy 'I'll take her!'

The boy nods, and the girls leave the gym and either school.

After having some fun and checking out popular places they end up sitting on the beach having ice cream. Spencer tells Ashley that they moved here from Ohio and she was a cheerleader and an elite student there. She has two brothers, Glen and Clay, and her parents are…

She keeps on talking, but Ashley doesn't mind. Surprisingly, she loves Spencer's voice. She hasn't feel this good since…

'So?' Spencer interrupts her while she's drowning in her past.

'Huh? Sorry, I was spacing out.'

'Haven't you heard anything I said?'

'I did, chill.'

'Boys?' Spencer asks, smiling.

'Oh, no!'

'A certain boy then?'

'Look…' she is about to tell the blondie she's not into boys at all right now, then she changes her mind 'Come to my place and we shall talk about… boys, okay?'

'Sure, why not?'

Ashley's getting nervous. She really is into the new girl. But she can't tell her yet. So she takes her home instead, and who knows what's gonna turn out. So, they're lying on the brunette's bed, more exactly, Ashley's lying, and Spencer's sitting next to her. They really end up talking about boys. Ashley recalls why she hates dating boys so bad.

'So, did you leave anyone special in Ohio?' the brunette asks.

'No. Well… I had someone, but I left him before knowing that we leave Ohio. He was the captain of the football team. You know, the typical pair: the captain and a cheerleader. So cliché, it even hurt me. Plus, he had the old-fashion moves. You know, when you're sitting in the cinema, and…

'…he tries to wrap his arm around you' Ashley continues, sitting up.

'… and you have to pretend you don't even suspect that he wants to kiss you!' they end the sentence together.

'That's so right!' Spencer laughs.

Both of them lean back, and Ashley's hand lands on Spencer's, accidentally. None of them say a single word, but the brunette knows that her new friend feels a little bit of awkward right now. She knows, because so did she when she realized she's not only into guys. She lifts her hand to tuck her hair behind her ear. It was a distraction, however.

'I should go now, I guess' Spencer says quietly 'it's getting late, and I haven't told my parents I'm going out.'

'I'll take you home' Ashley offers smiling, and grabs her keys.

Spencer nods, and smiles lightly, like she would be a little embarrassed. After telling Ashley the directions, she takes her home. She stops in front of the house.

'Thanks for today' Spencer hugs her, smiling.

'Had fun?'

'Yeah' she lets her go.

'See you tomorrow then?'

'Sure. Bye!' she gets out of the car and Ashley watches her as she walks into the house and closes the door.

She drives home and lies on her bed.

'Damn' she whispers 'She really is nice…'

"And sexy" she thinks to herself.

After practicing playing the guitar she goes to bed. She smiles and closes her eyes.

"_Spencer Carlin… It's the start of something new, for both of us. I feel this, and I hope I feel it well"_ she thinks, and as she keeps thinking about the blondie, she falls asleep.


	2. Secrets: out

Ashley wakes up with a good feeling. She feels that she's alive again, thanks to Spencer. She takes a shower and gets prepared for school, all way whistling. She even sings loudly in her car. When she gets out of the car, her new friend's brother parks next to her. The blondie jumps out of the car and greets Ashley with a wide smile.

'Good morning, Ashley!'

'Hi, Spencer!'

'Woah, the hottie I saw yesterday! I feel it's gonna be a wonderful day!' the blonde guy Ashley saw yesterday playing basketball, Spencer's brother, but what was his name again?

'He's my brother, Glen. Basketball player, a stable D student, and a jerk.'

'Hey, what was that for?' the guy grins, and disappears without saying anything else.

'And this is Clay, my older brother.' Spencer places her hand on the guy's shoulder.

'Nice to meet you, Ashley' he smiles and waves goodbye, running to school, not to be late.

'How are you today, Ashley?' asks Spencer while they're heading inside.

'Great! At least I could have some good sleep I couldn't get for a long time. And you?'

'Tired a little bit.'

As they continue their way, a certain guy smiles at them. Ashley's stomach in knots, she feels so sick she would throw up right now.

'Do you know him?' Spencer smiles.

'I _knew_ him.'

'Do you mean…'

'Hey, Spencer!' Madison Duarte, the leader of the cheerleader squat interrupts them 'Training at four! Don't be late, I wanna show you the new steps. Ugh, you know her?' she rolls her eyes when it meets Ashley's.

'Yeah, why?'

'Hello there, girls!' the boy who smiled at them joins, hugging Madison.

'Oh, do you know my boyfriend Aiden? He's the captain of the basketball team, and the hottest guy in school. Don't even dream about him! See you at four, and don't be late, otherwise, you're out of the squat! Bye-bye!' she turns around pulling Aiden with her, but he looks back one more time.

Ashley goes on rolling her eyes.

'Hey, what was that?' asks Spencer.

'What was what?'

'You and Madison and… Aiden'

'Nothing'

'You lie very bad. Don't you want to talk about it?'

'Look…' she would just find a good reason why she doesn't want to talk about them when the school bell saves her 'Sorry, I need to go. Talk to you later?'

'Sure.'

They wave goodbye and get to their classes. Fortunately, Ashley doesn't have to talk about what happened with the three of them, and seemingly, Spencer forgot about the whole thing, because she hasn't asked about it for two weeks.

But all is not lost that is delayed. Two weeks later while they're having their lunch and talk about some ridiculous TV show, Madison walks up to them.

'Spencer, we're having a ball this Friday. You may come with someone but her' she points at Ashley 'Lesbos are not welcome there.' She smirks and walks away.

'Okay' Spencer sighs 'You don't wanna talk about it, right?'

'Yeah, you're right! I don't wanna!' she stands up and rushing through the yard.

She's upset because she doesn't want to lose Spencer. All these gossips about her… People don't even know her; they don't have the right to judge without knowing her story.

She avoids Spencer all week long. She would bet Spencer doesn't want to talk to her anymore. To her biggest surprise, her phone rings, and her friend's calling her. Waiting a second, Ashley receives the call.

'Yeah?'

'Ash, is everything alright?'

'Sure, what wouldn't be?'

'Well, you avoided and ignored me all week long'

'Yeah, sorry for that. I thought you should be at the ball'

'I am. But missing my best friend. Don't you wanna come?'

'To have some kind of party with those cheerbitches? No, thanks.'

'Well, I'm one of those cheerbitches, and I need my BF. So?'

'Alright' she sighs 'I'll be there in half an hour'

'I'll be waiting'

Ashley breaths a deep sigh takes a shower immediately and washes her hair. She knows that she has to hurry. After choosing the perfect, black dress she does her hair in record time and applies some make-up. Actually, she arrives fifteen minutes late.

Spencer's standing on the stairway. She's wearing a beautiful, turquoise dress that highlights her wonderful eyes. She wears a bun, and as soon as she notices Ashley, she smiles. Ashley's pretty nervous. She hasn't thought about the contingent circumstances yet.

'Hey' she waves at Spencer.

'Hey. You're beautiful. And nervous?'

'Kinda.'

'So, shall we go in?'

'I don't know Spence, maybe I should go home.'

'Oh, come on! Let's go already!' she reaches out a hand.

'Fine' the brunette agrees at last and accepts her friend's hand.

Madison can't let this happen of course. She walks up to the pair, and immediately starts acting bossy.

'What is this, Spencer? I thought you understood. She's not welcome here.'

'Oh yeah, I did' she replies 'Simply, I just don't care, Madison.'

'You're so out of the squat!' she yells 'You're gonna regret this! Both of you!'

The girls burst out laughing then Ashley looks at Spencer contritely.

'Sorry I got you kicked out of the squat.'

'It's better this way. I care more about friends than the squat anyways.'

'Thanks'

'So, don't you want to talk about what happened?'

'No, not really. Why don't we just go away?'

'Fine.'

Ashley turns around and bumps into Madison who spills her drink all over herself.

'Get out of here! Now!' she rages.

Seemingly, Ashley started a chain reaction. The Latina turns around and bumps into Glen, who accidentally shoves Aiden who hit another guy while falling. And the chain reaction end up in a scuffle.

'Get out of here!' Ashley grabs Spencer's arm laughing.

They leave the building laughing and get into Ashley's car. They just can't stop laughing. A few minutes later Aiden leaves the building either.

'Girls!' he shouts 'Would you give me a ride?'

'Maybe another time' Ashley replies coldly and drives away.

The girls end up at a spectators' terrace. The lights of Los Angeles are magnificent from here.

'It's beautiful' Spencer leans forward the rail.

'It's my secret place. I hide here when I feel completely lost.'

'So… Will we talk about what happened between the three of you? Actually, who are you into? Boys, girls, both, none?'

'I'm not into labels.' she smiles 'About what happened between us…' she sits on the hood 'Aiden and I went out for a while, and with Madison we were best friends. When she realized we're together she went on a rage and that was the end of our friendship. With Aiden that's… We had sex only once and… I got pregnant 'she continues the confession 'We were about to keep it, but I had a miscarriage. I was broken, and that meant the end of our relationship. And then Madison got him. That's the story of us.'

'I'm so sorry, Ash.' Spencer hugs the brunette.

'I'm fine, Spence' she whispers 'So, do you want me to take you home?'

'Can't we just stay here a little bit more? This side of L.A. is so beautiful.'

'Fine' she smiles.

They stay there for another hour, then Ashley drives Spencer home. Surprisingly, she feels much better now. She talked about her past and somehow she feels relieved. Her secret is out but she trusts Spencer. She found a true friend and she doesn't mind that she actually told the truth about what happened to her. She feels really happy, and she haven't felt this for a long time.


	3. Drunk and Confused

It's such a beautiful Friday evening Ashley decides to have a party tonight. She convinces Spencer to go, so she's absolutely ready have fun tonight. She picks up her friend at 7 and promises her parents that they'll be at home by 10. She knows that Spencer's family is deeply religious. She has to make a good impression. They get into the car and the brunette starts the engine.

'You look pretty, Spence' she smiles.

'Thanks. Where are we going actually?'

'We're having fun in a bar tonight. The owner is my father's ex, but she likes me, so…'

'Your fathers ex? Wow.'

'Yeah, my father is kinda famous. I bet you know about him.'

'Well, who is he? A millionaire? A DJ? A rock star?'

'A rock star' Ashley laughs 'He's Raife Davies.'

'Are you kidding me? Raife Davies? He's your father? Raife Davies of Purple Venom?'

'Yeah, that's him.'

'Wow, Ash.'

'That's it.' She smiles and drives without saying any further words.

She parks the car near the bar, and looks at the blondie.

'So, shall we go?'

'I don't know, Ashley. It's quite a crowd here.'

'Never worry!' she smiles and get out of the car.

They walk up to the bar, and the brunette steps in front of the security guard, who greets her with a wide smile.

'Hello there, Ashley! Long time no see!'

'Hey Rob! Shall we go in?'

'We're full kid, sorry.'

'Oh, come on, Rob! I bet you can do something. I really need to talk to Kara.'

'Okay' he sighs 'She's with you?' he points at Spencer.

'Yeah, lad. See you later!'

The girls walk in and Ashley rushes through the crowd to the counter. The barmaid notices them immediately.

'Hey, Ashley! How are you tonight?'

'Fine! And you?'

'Tired, and it's only half past 7. And you're with someone?'

'Yeah, Meet Spencer Carlin, my best friend. Spence, she's Kara.'

They shake hands, then the brunette orders some drinks. They keep on dancing and drinking. Spencer's totally wasted, and it's already half past 9. They should go home now. Especially because a guy wants to hook her up. Ashley grabs the blondie's wrist.

'Spence, we need to go.'

'Oh, come on, I feel so alive tonight!' she yells totally wasted.

'Spencer, it's time to go.'

'Oh, come on, Ash!' she hugs her.

'No, we need to, seriously.'

Spencer leans forward and tries to kiss her friend, but Ashley steps back.

'Spencer, don't!' she warns her.

'Ashley…'

'You're drunk. It's time to go' she sighs.

She takes Spencer's hand and gets out of the bar.

She wants to kiss her pretty bad, but not like this. Ashley wants Spencer to remember for sure and not that the blondie would kiss her because she's drunk and doesn't care about anything. They get into the car and the brunette starts the engine.

'What's wrong?' asks Spencer.

'Nothing is wrong. It's time to go, it'll probably be 10 by the time you get home.'

'You rejected to kiss me.'

'Spencer, you are drunk!'

'So what?'

'Nothing' she sighs again and drives to her friend's house. When she stops the engine she looks at her. She's still wasted.

'Shall I help you?'

'Oh, pleeeease' the blondie laughs.

Ashley gets out of her car and curses a little bit because she was so stupid she let Spencer drink this much. She helps her out and walks to the door, opens it quietly. The lights are out, so Spencer's parents must be sleeping already. The brunette helps her friend to get into her room and sits her on the bed.

'Will you be alright?'

'I guess so' she laughs and leans forward.

'Don't. Please, don't!'

'What got into you, Ash?'

'You're drunk. I want you to try this when you're sober and you mean it. Not like this when probably you would not even remember it. I'm sorry, Spencer.'

'I'll remember! And I mean it!'

'No, Spence… You won't remember it. Call me tomorrow, will you?'

'I will. Look, I'm sorry. Shall we talk about this tomorrow?'

'Sure, if you'll remember' she smiles.

'I will. I guess I'm confused, Ash.'

'And drunk' she laughs quietly.

'That's the minor part.'

'Okay. So will you call me tomorrow and visit me?'

'Sure.'

'Great. Goodnight then!' she stands up and kisses Spencer on the cheek.

Ashley drives home. Well, she is confused too. What would she do if her friend would remember this? More importantly, what does Spencer want to talk about? The brunette keeps on thinking about this. It's so hard to fall asleep when she knows that the blondie wants to talk about something important. She falls asleep at last at around 4 in the morning.


	4. E La Vita

It's Saturday afternoon and Spencer didn't even gave a ring to Ashley. She knew that the blondie wouldn't remember what happened last night. So much for talking about Spencer wanted to kiss her.

The brunette watches TV and is bored. She keeps on surfing when her phone rings. She gets excited about this and picks the cell up immediately.

'Hello?'

'Hello Sweetie, it's me.'

'Me? Me who?' she laughs. Of course she knows who she's talking to.

'Come on Ashley, stop kidding me!'

'Hi Daddy! What's up?'

'I'm in L.A. tonight. Are you free?'

'I guess so.'

'Let's have dinner together then. Long time no see, huh?'

'Sure Daddy' she smiles 'Pick me up at 7, and don't be late this time!'

'I promise.'

'Where shall we go?'

'Let this be a secret.'

'Oh, come on, you know I hate surprises!'

'Be patient, Sweetie! See you at seven! Bye-bye!'

'Bye, Daddy!'

She hangs up the phone and looks at the clock. It's 17:27, so it's better to get ready. After taking a shower she starts looking for the perfect clothing she can wear tonight. This was the part she hated the most. It's quarter to seven when she finally puts on a black dress. She's in a hurry now because she hasn't applied make-up and did her hair yet. She finishes when the doorbell rings. Exactly at 19:20.

'I'm coming!' she yells as she putting on the necklace she got from her father.

She opens the door and smiles.

'Hello there Daddy! You're late!'

'I know I'm so sorry Sweetie! It's the traffic.'

'It's always the traffic!'

'So you won't hug me?'

Ashley laughs and hugs her father tight.

They talk about the actual tour of Raife. The fact they can't spend much time together made Ashley a little bit sad, but they're meeting after two months, and that's more important. They park at Ashley's favorite restaurant, Luigi's. She loves Italian food and they always eat there when her father's in Los Angeles.

'Surprise-surprise!'

'Seriously, Daddy? I could've known!' the brunette laughs and gets out of the car.

The staff greets them with wide smiles; they take their usual seats and order the usual dish, Authentic Ragù alla Bolognese. They're having a good time which they couldn't lately. As they're having their Panna Cotta, Raife looks at her daughter with a serious expression.

'Ashley, I'd like to ask a favor.'

'Yes, Daddy?' she smiles.

'Kara's organizing an event next weekend.'

'So, why is it important to me?'

'Because it's open stage next Saturday!'

'So?' she rolls her eyes.

'Please, perform on Saturday!'

'Daddy!'

'What? You're talented, and I'd like you to perform _Hold On_!'

'No way, I'm not ready for that yet!'

'Come on, Ash, you have to take the first step! Nobody will do that for you!'

'I know Dad, it's just…' Ashley almost drops her spoon.

She sees Spencer with a guy walking in. And the boy is… Aiden? She's so shocked she freezes. She can't really understand. Last night Spencer wanted to kiss her, and now, she's having dinner with Aiden? What the heck is going on here?

'Excuse me for a moment, Daddy' she apologies and walks away from the table. She wants to find out what happened and how these two ended up together. The brunette stands in front of the couple and greets them with a fake smile.

'Hello, guys!'

'Hello, Ashley!' Spencer greets her 'How are you tonight?'

'Fine. You?'

'Me too. We're having dinner together.'

'Oh, how come?' 'I had to go to the basketball training because Glen left his chucks at home. And Aiden asked me out.'

'Hey, Ash' the guy raises a hand.

'Hey! So, Spencer… Can you remember you wanted to talk me today?'

'Oh, my God, have I promised you? I'm so sorry, I guess I was way too drunk. Thanks for taking me home anyways.'

'My pleasure.'

'Have I mentioned what I wanted to talk about?'

'No' she said, but a little voice in her head shouted: _"Yes! Yes yes yes yes yes! Tell me you love and want me!"_

'That's a pity. Do you want to join us?'

'No, thanks, I'm having dinner with my Dad, so maybe another time. Talk to you later, Spence?'

'Sure.' 'Have fun, you two. Bye!'

'Bye, Ash!'

The brunette starts her way back to their table, but stops. She spins fast.

'Spencer! I'm performing next Saturday. Wanna come?'

'Sure, we'll talk about it' the blondie smiles.

'K, thanks! Bye!'

The brunette sits next to her father and grabs his hand.

'I'll definitely perform _Hold On _next week, Daddy!'

'That's the spirit, Ashley!'

'Will you come?'

'Of course I'll go! To celebrate that, I have a gift for you!' he holds a box.

'Oh, Daddy, you shouldn't have… Oh my gosh!' she shouts as she opens her present. The box contained a Purple Venom leather jacket, her name sewn into it.

'It'll match your necklace next week.'

'Thank you, Daddy!' she hugs Raife tight.

'Careful Sweetie, careful! The groupies love this body!' he laughs and so does Ashley.

Raife takes Ashley home and promises her that he'll definitely be there on next Saturday.

The brunette's so excited about her first performance she grabs her guitar immediately as she gets in her room and starts rehearsing her own song, _Hold On_. She keeps practicing and practicing as she feels that it's not good enough. When she starts the song for about the fifteenth time, her cell phone starts ringing. She sighs and receives the call.

'Hello?'

'Hello, Ashley, it's me, Spencer. Am I disturbing you?'

'No, no, I'm home already.'

'Did you have fun with your father?'

'Yeah, I haven't seen him for two months, so it was about time. Sooo, how was your date with Aiden?' she changes to a neutral tone.

'It was fine, and it wasn't a date, Ash!'

'Oh, come on, Spencer! You were so pretty, and your dress was great!'

'Well, yeah, so? He's going out with Madison.'

'Oh, well…'

'Ash, really. It's nothing serious. So… How disgusting was I yesterday?'

'You weren't disgusting but drunk. It's not the same, Spencer' she laughs.

'I haven't done anything stupid, have I?'

Ashley recalls that the blondie wanted to kiss her so bad and she hugged her passionately. That she wanted to talk about her feelings because she was confused. And maybe she wanted to tell her that she fell into her.

'No, Spencer' answers Ashley 'I took you home just in time' she smiles.

'Thanks, Ash. I can't remember what happened last night. I'm so ashamed.'

'Don't be. Everything was fine' she giggles.

'Don't you want to tell me what happened last night?'

'Is it really necessary?'

'Please, Ash!'

'Okay. Will you come over tomorrow?'

'Sure. When?'

'Anytime, but give me a ring before coming, okay?'

'Yeah. Talk to you tomorrow then?'

'Yeah. Will you remember?' the brunette laughs.

'Yeah, I will remember, Ashley.' Spencer answers and Ashley can imagine how she rolls her eyes.

'Okay, okay. See you then!'

'Bye!'

Ashley hangs up the phone and puts her guitar out of the way. She's tired, so she goes to bed. She really is curious about tomorrow. Would it be wise if she would tell Spencer what actually happened last night? Well, let's dream about what would be the right thing to do.


	5. Living the Dream

Ashley wakes up and takes a deep breath. She guesses she has to tell the truth to Spencer, but she's afraid of losing her. She takes a shower and chooses some casual wear. Well, come what ever may, she decides to be honest. Spencer arrives early afternoon. Ashley opens the door nervously.

'Hello, Ashley' waves Spencer.

'Hi, Spence! Come in!' she smiles and waits for the blondie to come in and get rid off her shoes.

In the meantime Ashley watches every movements of her. Her perfect curves and her long, blonde hair that covers her face now.

'So' Spencer grabs her back to reality 'Shall we talk about Friday now?'

'Sure, come up!'

They go into the brunette's room where Spencer sits on Ashley's bed.

'Ashley, what happened Friday night?' she asks quietly.

'Do you really mean you can't remember?'

'Yeah.'

'Why does it matter anyway?'

'Have I done anything stupid?'

Ashley hesitates. Before she would answer, Spencer asks her again.

'Have I let any boys to… You know…'

'No, Spence' she smiles. At least she can be honest now. 'I saved you actually. Some boy wanted you pretty bad. That's why I took you home.'

'I haven't thrown up, have I?'

'You can't remember at all?'

'I… can't.'

'Don't be ashamed' the brunette sits next to her and grabs her hand 'Nothing extreme happened, Spence.'

'Good you were with me. Thank you, Ashley' she hugs her tight.

'You're very welcome.'

'Ash… I had a very, very strange dream by the way.'

'Really?'

'Well, I… fell for someone. And in my dream I wanted to tell this person I'm in love. But I was way too afraid to confess.'

Ashley realizes it wasn't a dream. Spencer's talking about what happened between them Friday night. The brunette grabs Spencer's hand.

'Were you afraid of losing this person?'

'Kind of.'

'What if this person feels the same? What if this person's waiting for you to tell them something?'

'What if they don't?'

'You wanna know?'

'That'd be great, great relief!' she sighs.

'Everything's gonna be alright.' Ashley whispers and tenderly caresses Spencer's cheek.

She pulls towards slowly, closing her eyes. The blondie doesn't resist. Ashley slowly kisses her lips. After a moment of hesitating Spencer returns the brunette's kisses. After so many pecks Ashley licks Spencer's upper lip asking for entrance. Their tongues start dancing with each other. Tenderly and passionately at the same time. They were made for each other. They follow each other's movements so precisely nobody could describe. It's getting so hot in Ashley's room. When they finish kissing both of them are panting. Ashley kisses Spencer's forehead.

'How… how did you know?' asks the blondie.

'It wasn't a dream, Spence. It happened Friday night, when I took you home. So… you wanted to tell me this?'

'I guess so.'

'Sorry I didn't let you. I thought it wasn't the right time. You were drunk and…'

'You thought I wouldn't mean it?'

'Kinda. Sorry, Spencer. I fell for you so fast and so deep I was afraid of losing you. I didn't want to do anything stupid.'

'Hold on! Don't tell me you were jealous yesterday!'

'For Aiden? Come on!'

'Ash…'

'Okay, I was. Maybe a little bit. But well, what should I have to say? "Please, Spence, send him home and join us, I'm so into you, why can't you realize this?"? Come on…'

'I didn't mean this. Just like… I don't know, Ash. More importantly, what would we do now?'

'Well, we have some time to figure it out, right?'

'Yeah, but… Is it right at all?'

'Can you control your feelings, Spence? You're human. Human beings can't. Actually, animals even have feelings, so… Aaaargh, do you understand what I mean?'

'Yes, but what if my parents… My God, I haven't really thought about this.'

'Really? Spence, we're about to live the dream we've been wanting for… who knows, what ever, don't tell me you don't wanna be with me because of your family!'

'It's just… It was sudden, okay, Ash? I mean I'm not sure about this at all.'

'I thought that you are…'

'I am! It's not that I'm not in love with you, Ashley. I just need to think about this, okay? Think about that if it's serious and about the circumstances.'

'What do you mean? _If _it's serious? You've just told me that you love me.'

'I know, I didn't… Gosh…'

'There's nothing wrong with that you want to think about it, but don't try to make excuses! I know, it's hard, I had to get through this either. But if you keep making excuses and in the end you find a good one and say that "I won't be with you because…" let it be anything excluded "I don't love you", it's just bullshit, right?'

'I didn't mean that way, Ash! At least, we have to…'

'We? I've already decided about this. It's your turn. And if you don't wanna be with me, you should have told me earlier, don't you think?' the brunette raises her voice.

That's how she tries to defend herself. By attacking.

'Ashley' says Spencer patiently 'I want to be with you. Can you understand? But we have to keep it as a secret, at least until I'll be ready to tell my family. Okay? No need to be aggressive.'

'Sorry' she sighs 'I often attack when I want to defend myself.'

'It's okay. But actually, I have one condition.'

'Condition?' she frowns.

'Yes, a condition.'

'No mercy, tell me.'

'No rush.'

'Meaning?'

'Don't push me, Ash!'

'So, you mean that you'll set the pace.'

'Exactly.'

'Well, I guess it's the least I can do for this relationship.' she smiles.

'And will you be able to do it?'

'Sure. So, is it official? I mean, is it secretly official?'

'It sounds kind of funny, if you think about it. But yes, it is. We're a couple.'

'Secretly.'

'Well, you promised me: no rush.'

'Yeah, I know. Come here now!'

The brunette hugs her girlfriend tight. Yes, _her girlfriend_! They are officially girlfriend and girlfriend now. Well, secretly, but who cares, anyway? They are together, at last! Next weekend the two most important person in Ashley's life will meet. Her father and her love. They spend the afternoon together and make plans for their future.

When Spencer leaves, Ashley lies down on her bed. She feels so happy she has never felt before. She practices a little bit for next weekend, and goes to bed. It's the first night she can sleep well since she had the miscarriage. She sleeps tight and she has sweet dreams about the two of them.


End file.
